Factors that affect our behaviour that affects others are based on so much more than what we consciously think. Some time it is a result of our previous judgement.
It’s like we know the taste of salt and even before we put another pinch into our mouth we know exactly what to expect.
So sometimes we behave in an automatic manner. It takes time to think over taking decisions and we do not want to go over the hassles of thinking deeply. For many reasons like shortage of time, importance of matter and so on and so forth.
Our past paves a way of how people will predict us and the way we will predict us. If we have been loving them always then they will expect love and if we have always been rude to them they will expect rudeness. Now you are on your guard with rude people they kind of have a repelling action.
These predictions makes it difficult for others to change their behaviour with you. Simply like if you are rude to someone he will try to stay away from him. He might just not give you a chance to get closer to him even if you now are trying to start a better relationship.
How we behave with people works in a strange way. If the people are good to us they tend to make us feel relaxed. We kind of depend upon them and moreover we even exploit this feeling by taking them for granted.
It’s like the people who tend to be difficult always keep us in caution. We are careful and attentive. But people who are good to us make us go soft. We are in a relaxed state of mind hence our thoughts can wander to anything.
But our attitude towards others should not depend upon how and what we feel about others. It should have a solid standing and it should be the same irrespective of who we are working with. Because if our behaviour depends upon how others are then we can totally get it wrong.
And what exactly it should be? It should be like our standard way. Like suppose you have two bosses. One is over you for one week and the other the next week. One boss is bad. He always stands over you and keeps on pushing you everyday. The other boss is very well behaved boss and gives you room and lets you work in your own privacy.
I am sure that there are better chances of the bad boss giving a good output rather than the good boss. The reason is that work sometimes can be boring and daunting. You may need mental strength such as focus plus some physical well being too. I find it easier to talk to someone rather than doing work. Talking to someone always makes you unwind, so one will prefer to talk rather than to do some actual work.
Our tendency as humans is to go towards comfort and rest and when we are already rested and comfortable, then the need to work further has no motivation left. But in the case of a bad boss the fear that he will upset you with his comments or will not act favourable in terms of your promotion leading towards breaking your hopes of a better future puts you in an uncomfortable situation. To avoid this it’s better to get yourself aligned to his desires to keep that rested state as is.
So if you are in the company of people who always are good and patient with you might not make you more productive. But rather the opposite.
I believe our motivations are deep rooted into our experiences. Experiences with people and experience with situations. The discomfort that we experience from failure, form relationships and other things makes us predictors a situation.
The fragile the situations is, the careful we become. Its similar to how we treat glass objects or an egg for instances. We know that the glass object is breakable so we do not throw it around. We are extra careful while putting down and glass object so that we might not hit it hard that it might shatter.
This is how we handle people the more balanced, sturdy and the more composed the person is. It is more likely that they are thrown around like things made out of metal or rubber.
Again I am not saying that one should not be polite, gentle and composed at all times. Yes a person is ought to be all these things. But how we behave with these sort of people needs to be different or rather it should be same for all.
Having principals is not something that should come naturally to all of us. Yes we all do have some moral judgement. But naturally we do not set principles for ourselves. Like a simple slogan which I tend to see more often is “Do what is Right”. This is moreover a kind of a direction rather than a set of precise set of steps that one can follow. It needs like kind of thinking over for one to sit down and decide of what he thinks is right.
I guess these Principals can make a lot of difference in the lives of people. Like planning the decisions and actions on principals such as “Do what is Right” rather than what we feel.
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